Jesus and the (empty) bag of miracles

 Jesus and the empty bag of miracles 

Knock knock, who is it? it's Jesus, can I come in? sure hold on just a second I need to put on some sweats. I open the door, hi Jesus, wow! good to see you, come on in. how you been doing? well, I've been doing great. I'm running the universe now. yeah, that's what I hear. I bet that has some exciting times! yeah, lots of decisions to make. wow, well I'm glad you stopped by. so, is this like a special visit or... no, I just happened to be in the neighborhood, thought I'd stop by. saw your place here. wow, that's great. so, what's in the bag. oh this? this is my bag of miracles. I used to carry around specific miracles mostly just for blindness and leprosy, but these days I just carry general purpose miracles. I see, so are those for anyone? mostly Christians or if I want to irritate some religious leaders I'll do one occasionally. I see, hey, you know, there's three things I could use miracles on right now on my body. oh wow pretty good timing then huh yeah I've been praying about it I haven't I haven't heard anything back from you or the heavenly Father. yeah, we... we don't hand out many miracles too much. I see, well since you've got the bag of miracles there with you maybe you could, you know, if you got three miracles you could spare. well, let's check here... looks like my bag is empty. empty? oh my gosh, do you mind if I take a look? well you're welcome to look I mean there's not anything in there it's just empty. Jesus turns the bag upside down and shakes it. I look inside and Even shine my phone flashlight down into the bottom. it is empty. yep it's empty all right. yeah well I just had the bag with me still after I handed out the last one. I see, wow, well Jesus, I need to wash my hair and vacuum the kitchen and I think I've got a couple of dishes in there I need to do so I'll probably let you go. is there anything you specifically want to talk about? no I just hadn't heard from you much. I just thought... that's really weird I, I can't imagine you haven't heard from me! I've been praying for miracles like non-stop! oh we don't listen to that stuff. that's just chatter. you don't listen to me request for miracles? not much. now! we listen to praise and to Thanksgiving and you know giving us glory and stuff. that's what we're all into, that! not asking for miracles. I mean, everybody needs a miracle all the time. I see, okay so doesn't do any good to ask for miracles? well you can ask God. yeah, all right. well let me get the door for you, here you go, thanks Jesus for coming by and hey I really love you! I'm looking forward to judgment Day! yeah, it's going to be exciting times all right! bye bye.